You’ve probably heard the expression “Opposites attract” and you may also have heard it applied to relationships. In fact, the “Law of Opposites” is something that plays a very important role in the dynamic of a relationship and using it in the right way is not only important but essential of you want to have a strong and growing marriage. There is a problem, however, and that is that most people think of the Law of Opposites in completely the wrong way, and as such it takes their relationship in the wrong direction. Most people take it to mean that it’s perfectly normal – and perhaps even a good thing – when two people are in a marriage who are completely different to each other, with different personalities, different values and priorities, and even different goals. So they see other marriages – or even perhaps their own – where two people are in constant conflict because they are very different to each other – and they somehow think that this is healthy and a ‘sign’ of a good marriage. Well conflict and ‘opposing forces’ in a marriage is NOT a good or healthy thing, and it’s not at all what the ‘Law of Opposites’ is about.
By understanding what this “Law of Opposites” really means, and how you can use it in your own marriage, you will not only build greater intimacy and connection with your spouse, but in the process you will reduce your problems, not add to them!
Firstly, let’s define what the Law of Opposites is. It’s also called “the Law of Polarity” and it is in fact
one of the fundamental laws by which everything in our universe operates. Everywhere you look there are two opposite forces: hot and cold, in and out, positive and negative, good and bad, and so on. When you really think about this, you begin to realise that everything we see or experience exists as a complete and opposite balance of two ‘forces’. The same is true when it comes to marriages and intimate relationships, and of course in this context we label those two ‘opposite forces’ as masculine and feminine.
The thing is that great marriages maintain a strong polarity between the masculine and feminine forces. In simple terms this means that the male maintains the best masculine qualities and the female maintains the best feminine qualities. Sometimes the roles become blurred slightly, but in a truly great relationship there will always be a balance of strong masculine and feminine energy.
Of course one of the first things that comes to mind when thinking about masculine/feminine balance is sex. A passionate and strongly sexual aspect (or dimension if you like) is one of the striking characteristics you find in almost all great marriages. And no matter what anyone tells you, it is my firm belief (and certainly something I’ve seen overwhelmingly to be true) that a great sex life is essential to true vitality in a marriage. And here’s a tip: if you want to improve your sex life – as well as every other area of your marriage – increase the masculine and feminine polarity that exists between you and your husband or wife.
So how do you do that? How do you literally increase the sexual ‘charge’ between you and expand your male/female polarity? Well the first and most important thing is to understand what true masculinity and true femininity actually are.
Many people confuse masculine with aggression and feminine with weakness. However, true masculine and feminine energies don’t have elements of aggression or weakness within them at all! In fact, true masculinity has elements of being loving and true femininity has aspects of being strong, but they are manifested in different ways.
True Masculine energy includes the following qualities:
- physical strength
- vision and sense of purpose
- decisiveness and willingness to act
- nurturing and protection
True Feminine energy includes:
- softness and gentleness
- empathy and compassion
- caring and sensitivity
- being inspiring and motivating
Have a look at the qualities I’ve listed here and ask yourself: “If I am a man, how can I develop more of these masculine qualities within myself?” or, “If I am a woman, how can I develop more of these feminine qualities within myself?”
By building your own energy – and focussing on developing your own either masculine or feminine qualities – some great things start to happen, both within yourself and in your relationship! You create greater polarity in your relationship – and you also will automatically create more of the opposite energy in your partner. Do you want your husband to be more masculine? Focus on YOU becoming more feminine (in the true sense, of course). Do you feel that your wife is lacking some of the feminine qualities that you love and are attracted to? It’s time to look at yourself, sir, and ask if you are still a good example of a truly masculine man!
Remember, both masculine and feminine in their TRUE sense are about love and strength in their essence. Take some time to think about the qualities for each of them above and you’ll see that to be true.
The greater the polarity you can create in your relationship, the more your relationship taps into a seemingly invisible force in the universe that will be seen by you (and others) as being very powerful, unstoppable – and VERY attractive. The sparks will fly!
Give it a try and just watch what happens.
And remember if you want more help in creating true polarity in your marriage, it’s one of the things I cover in great detail in my 30 Day Program: Save Your Marriage Relationship Transformation.