When a person feels that their spouse is drawing away from them - or worse still has told them they want to end their marriage - what happens is....
That person usually takes on one of two behaviour types.
Type A and Type B.
- tries to change their spouse's mind about leaving
- gets upset when their spouse says they are not happy in the marriage
- wants to talk about the problems in the marriage and find a solution to fix them
- tries to get them to counselling with them
- judges and blames their spouse for making them feel upset
- promises to change their behaviour to please their spouse
- always looks for signs that their spouse might be feeling better about them
- feels anxious, worried and depressed
- tells their spouse things like "I am committed to our marriage" or "I will fight for our marriage" - which shows they haven't listened to (or respected) what their spouse has said they want
- acts miserable a lot of the time
- listens intently to what their spouse tells them about why they are unhappy
- makes changes to themself in a thoughtful and genuine way
- doesn't try to change their spouse's mind - respects their feelings and decision
- doesn't get upset easily
- is optimistic about the future
- is fun to be around
- talks about positive things rather than problems
- is sad that the marriage might end, but knows that their life will go on
If you're in this situation, which Type are you?
So here's the point (if you haven't figured it out already):
Which of these two Types of person do you think is the more attractive?
Type B, right?
Honestly, do you think a Type A person is attractive? Would you want to be married to someone like that?
Well, your spouse doesn't either!
Unfortunately, 99% of people when they're in this situation, act like a Type A.
Where, to have any hope of healing their marriage, they need to be a Type B.
Because, if you were a Type B person, why would your spouse want to leave you?
They wouldn't, would they?
So the answer is:
If you're facing the end of your marriage (or it's not going well) become a Type B person!
It's as simple as that!
Remember, no matter how adamant your spouse is that your marriage is "over", when you change how they feel about you, they will change their mind.
That is a certainty.
But here's a warning....
You can't fake becoming a Type B person.
If you do, you'll just come across to your spouse as someone who is manipulative and even more desperate. They will sense it.
And it will push them away from you even more.
No, it has to become the real you. You can't fake or pretend.
Now this is actually quite difficult to do.
But I teach a very powerful and effective way to do this in my coaching programs:
- Stop Your Divorce (Even When Your Spouse Doesn't Want To)
(a 7-day course which will get you acting as a Type B person)
- Save Your Marriage: Relationship Transformation
(a 30-day course where you go much deeper into healing hurts and building a lasting bond with your spouse)
I'll show you how to become a Type B person in a few simple steps.
You'll become much more attractive to your spouse.
And when you do, just see how quickly your spouse changes their mind and realises that you are the person they want to be around after all.
Enrol for one (or both) of the programs here:
I look forward to helping you.