Have you ever wondered what really creates your life? 

How you get the results that you do, both good and bad?

Why you have the life that you have? The circumstances, the people, what you do with your time, where you live. 

Why you have problems? What’s the reason why you’re living the life you really want? 

Is there a reason? 

And is there really a way to guarantee success and avoid failure, and get what you want rather than what you don’t want?

These are questions that I have been asking myself 

for a very long time. 

And here I want to share with you how I came to uncover the answers to these questions, and how I discovered what I did about the brain and the secrets that it holds to creating an ideal life.

I’m sure that you will be relate to much if not all of what I’m going to share. A lot of what I’ve experienced will be similar to what you’ve experienced in our life as well. 

I am going to share with you a bit about my journey and how I came to realise that 

using your brain correctly is the only possible explanation for how you can truly be happy and successful in your life. 

We’re going to look at other possible solutions to getting on top of your life - and you’ll see why none of them are the real answer.

The story of my journey of discovery about who we are and how we really create success in our life (and failure and problems, for that matter) is really made up of two parts. 

The first is my own life journey. 

Now probably like you, I’ve always been a bit driven to succeed. 

From as far back as I can remember I’ve always wanted to have as good a life as I could. 

I’ve always wanted more, and have never been willing to just settle for what I had. 

And I’ve always been looking for the answer to the question:

“How can I be really happy and successful?”

The first place I looked was religion. 

I was born into a religious family, the eldest of 8 children to Catholic parents. 

I was educated in Catholic schools and even became the organist and choirmaster of the Catholic Cathedral in my city. 

And the message I got from my parents, teachers and all of the priests and religious people around me was: 

“If you want to be happy and successful, you need to believe in, and pray to, God.” 

So that’s what I did. 

I got into studying the teachings of the Church and I prayed to God. 

And I mean really prayed. 

A lot. 

As a young child I would go to the church every day and pray! 

But as time went on, and as I got a bit older, I noticed that, although I prayed I didn’t get everything I prayed for. 

In fact, I didn’t really get much of what I prayed for. 

I didn’t feel that happy a lot of the time, 

I didn’t feel successful. 

My problems didn’t go away - and I also noticed that my parents, teachers and the priests of the church - well they didn’t seem that happy or successful either. 

They seemed just like everyone else I knew - with the same problems, stress and unhappiness in their life.

So, being really honest, I realised that prayer and religion couldn’t be the answer to finding true happiness and success. 

Now it may be for some people - and I’m certainly not saying there isn’t some value in what religion teaches. 

In fact, as we’ll cover elsewhere, the teachings of all religions have a lot of the right information about how to achieve success in our lives. 

It’s just that is has been misinterpreted by most people. 

But I was looking for the true answer. 

And religion wasn’t working for me, or for virtually everyone else I knew. 

So I knew it couldn’t be the real answer.

Because one thing I knew for certain: 

For something to be the real answer it had to work all the time and not only for me but for everyone else who tried it as well. 

It’s like gravity. 

You know that gravity is going to work for you, 100% of the time. 

And it doesn’t matter how hard you pray, if you jump off a building you’re going to go downwards.

So I knew there had to be a true answer, and I was determined to find it because I wanted to have a great life.

So if religion and prayer wasn’t doing it for me what would?

The next thing I started to notice people around me saying, to me and others, was that if you want to be happy and successful then you have to get an education

Knowledge is the answer. 

The more you know, the happier you will be! 

The better your education, the better a job you will get. 

You’ll earn more money, you’ll enjoy life more - in other words, you’ll be successful.

So I went out and got myself an education. 

In fact I studied at university for 7 full years and amassed a collection of degrees and diplomas, mainly in classical music.

But as time went on, as I studied harder and at an increasingly higher level, I began to feel dissatisfied. 

I noticed that the 

educated people I surrounded myself with - my teachers, colleagues and professors - some very smart, highly knowledgeable and learned, 

even those who were earning plenty of money - they didn’t seem to be any more successful or happy than the religious people I had known. 

They still had problems. 

They were still stressed. 

And of course, so was I. 

So I knew education couldn’t be the answer either. 

Again, that’s not to say there’s no value in education and learning (of course there is). 

But it simply wasn’t bringing me what I was looking for: 

real success and happiness and feeling in control of my life. 

“So what next?”, I thought. 

Well in my quest I came across the idea that the answer to finding real success was to have your own business, work really hard and earn lots of money. 

Create for yourself a rich lifestyle. 

That’s the way to have all the success, abundance, freedom and happiness that you want!

And I fell for the idea I once heard that:

“Whoever says money doesn’t buy you happiness just doesn’t know where to shop!”

So that’s what I did. 

I set up my own business, the first of many. 

I worked very hard and as well as working in and on the business, I studied business. 

I learned as much as I could about how to create a successful business. 

I went to seminars and courses, and studied books - 

about sales, marketing, management, finance. 

Anything I could that I thought would give me an edge and make my business - and therefore me - more successful. 


And I created a very successful business. 

And I made a lot of money. 

And it was the first of many businesses I have established and owned over the years.

But once I had done that, once my business was up and running, earning me a healthy income and allowing me to have and do the things I thought would make me happy I realised that iI wasn’t actually any happier. 

Sure, I had some good times and the money allowed me to do many great things I otherwise wouldn’t have been able to do

But I wasn’t really a lot happier. 

In fact, I was less happy than I had been before. 

I had a ton of stress and problems to deal with all the time. 

And - being really honest with myself - the truth dawned on me: that simply earning more money and building an even bigger business was not going to give me the happiness and fulfilment I was really seeking

It wasn’t going to get rid of my problems - in fact it seemed like it would probably only create more.

Another dead end, I thought…

Well the next thing I found was the whole world of self help, personal development and “peak performance” coaching. 

I discovered a number of 

highly charismatic people who seemed to be super successful. 

They were rich and they appeared to be happy and excited about their life. 

“I have the secrets to success,” they would say. 

“Just come to my seminar or read my book and I will show you how you too can be like me, happy, rich and successful.”

At last, I thought - this is the answer. 

“All of these amazing people are telling me they have the answers for exactly what I’m looking for.” 

I was very excited… 

So I went all in. 

I went to seminars around the world. 

I travelled far - and from New Zealand, where I lived, everywhere is far! 

And I read the books. 

I did all the exercises. 

I did everything these people told me to do. 

I set goals. 

I recited affirmations. 

I spent hours daily listening to hypnosis and subliminal recordings to “change my beliefs and reprogram my subconscious mind”. 

I learned all kinds of mind control practices and techniques. 

I filled workbooks with all of the ideas on success that each of these things were teaching me. 

Whatever these gurus told me to do, I did. 

After all, it seemed to be working for them! 

I even did a few firewalks to help me “break through my fears”.!

But again, as time went on and the more books I read, the more seminars I went to, and the more I chased the “next new idea” that promised to have the real answer - if I was really honest with myself, I realised that nothing was really working.

I didn’t feel any happier or more successful.

I still had problems in my life - big problems - lots of stress. 

In fact, with the higher expectations that I was putting on myself trying to live up to the promises of the self-help gurus, I actually felt worse. 

I felt more of a failure than ever and that my life was out of control. 

And while I may have been successful on the outside, it sure didn’t feel that way on the inside.

And I looked around me at the other people who were at the seminars and who had read the books. 

What results were they getting? 

Were they happy and successful? 

Well in fact they didn’t seem any happier or more successful than anyone else either. 

Many of the people I met had also worked hard at applying the “secrets of success” that we were all being taught. 


But again the number of people who seemed truly happy and for whom it seemed to be working appeared to be very few.

So again, I knew that I wasn’t going to find the answers here.

It wasn’t working for me, even though I felt that with the effort I was putting it it should have. 

IF it was the real answer.

So the next place I looked was spirituality. 

The message I heard about spiritual practice was: 

“The secret to happiness and success is not in hard work, it’s in being at one with the universe. Use your mind to bring what you want to you.” 

So I learned as much as I could about how to be spiritual. 

I studied and practised the Law of Attraction. 

I learned to meditate and meditated every day. 

I went to courses on accessing your Higher Self, getting into contact with your Spirit Guides and the spirit world. 

You name it, I would try it. 

I changed my lifestyle completely. 

I sold my business I even became a vegan for 7 years.

Again, while I’m not saying there isn’t value in learning how to be spiritual and while I did meet some lovely and well-meaning people, I can’t say that it really worked for me. 

It just didn’t bring me what I was looking for - 

the answers on how to be happy and successful.

I still had as many problems as before. 

The problems I had while running my business were replaced by problems of not running a business. 

And again, the other people I met in the courses and meetings - they all seemed to have just as many problems and lack of success as anyone else.

So, despite many years of trying everything I could think of to finally feel I was in control of my life and feeling successful and truly happy, I felt I was no closer to the real answer. 

I was starting to think: 

“Perhaps there isn’t an answer. 

Perhaps life really is meant to be hard and stressful. 

Perhaps I’ve just been wasting a whole lot of time, energy and money chasing an ideal that isn’t realistic. 

Perhaps I’ve just been a dreamer, thinking I could really be truly happy and successful, be in control of my life and not have stress and problems to deal with.”

And then, a few years later and having established and built up a number of other successful businesses, something very weird and unexpected happened. 

I lost everything. 

I lost my marriage, my businesses, all my money, my houses and property, my income, my friends…. 

Everything I owned! 

I was literally homeless and penniless. 

I ended up moving back in with my elderly mother and sleeping on the sofa in the living room in her small flat. 

And talk about stress and problems…

I was fighting bankruptcy and I was in court with two ex wives at the same time! 

I had no money, income or anything other than a few clothes.

And worst of all I had NO prospects. 

I had no idea what to do to dig myself out of the hole I had got into. 

I could see no future and I became quite depressed.

Now this shouldn’t have happened! 

After all, I had spent my life learning all of the secrets on how to take control of your life. 

With ALL of the knowledge I had on how to be successful, how could I have ended up in a situation where I was completely unsuccessful and not in control of my life at all? 


It was the opposite of everything I had been striving to achieve my entire life - and it was as if my entire life had been a complete waste of time.

But then something equally strange happened. 

After a few tough and dark months, thing in my life started to change for the better. 

In fact, things got a whole lot better, and for the first time in my life I was actually starting to be really happy. 

I began doing the things I had always really wanted to do. 

I found a new relationship which was completely unlike any I had had before. 

Opportunities started to come into my life. 

I created new businesses, doing what I loved. 

All the money I needed to do what I wanted started showing up. 

And - and here’s the best part, which to me at the time was also the most puzzling part - I was finally happy and feeling successful. 

I had the freedom to do what I wanted, whenever I wanted, and without annoying problems to solve all the time. 

In fact, I didn’t really have any problems to speak of. 

Stress became virtually non-existent. 


I was finally starting to feel like I was living a life that was purposeful and fulfilling. 

And that’s the life I’m continuing to life today.

So I had to find what had happened to me. 

What was the difference between the old, stress and problem filled life of struggle for success and the new life where problems and stress were the exception rather than the norm?

As I began to uncover what had happened to me I realised that what had really happened - in fact the only thing that had happened 

- was:

I had made a shift in the way I was using my brain

And it was this shift that was making all the difference.

I mentioned that were two things that have happened which has helped me uncover the truth about how we create success in our life and the central part our brain plays in that. 

So that was the first thing - the events of my own life.

But the second clue or evidence, if you like, came from coaching others. 

You may know that a lot of my work has been as a marriage and relationships coach. 

In particular, I have been working to help people who want to save their marriage, especially when their spouse is wanting a divorce. 

It’s a big problem that affects many people and I’ve been very glad and humbled to have helped many people save their relationship who were in this situation. 

I’ve been doing this for a number of years, and of course I continue this work to this day, with several online coaching programs as well as live coaching.

But over the years of helping people with their marriage, I become increasingly puzzled by one thing: 

Why is it that some people were able to save their marriage, while others weren’t? 

What made the difference?

Well I knew the difference couldn’t be the information I provided. 

My programs give everyone exactly the same information on what to do. 

And it is information that can be applied to virtually every marriage situation I’ve encountered.

I also knew it couldn’t be the amount of information the person had and how much they had learned about relationships or about how to save their marriage. 

Most of the people I coached had been to other coaches, therapists, counsellors. 

They had read books and visited websites and received all sorts of advice.

It also wasn’t a question of how hard a person worked or how 

motivated they were . 

There is no-one more motivated, I’ve found, than someone faced with the prospect of their marriage ending when they don’t want it to!

Everyone in that situation is EVERY motivated and people would often tell me: 

“I am 100% committed to my marriage and will do anything to save it.”

And their success or failure didn’t seem to depend on prayer either. 

There were some very devoutly religious people what took my programs and coaching, who prayed fervently, but still didn’t save their marriage, while others, who didn’t really pray at all, did save their marriage.

So what was going on here? 

What did work? 

What was the real cause of my successes - and the successes of others I have helped and coached? 

What is it that really makes the difference? 

Maybe it’s just luck? 

Well I knew it wasn’t luck. 

But is also wasn’t prayer, hard work, motivation, knowledge and information, setting goals, positive thinking, changing thoughts through reciting affirmations, using a technique, system or method to change your beliefs or “reprogram your subconscious mind”, meditating, using hypnosis, using the Law of Attraction, adhering to a spiritual practice. 

I’d tried all of these things and seen many other people try these things - and the results I - and other people I knew - got just weren’t consistent and effective enough to convince me that they are the answer.

So I started to dig a little deeper and my research took me in one clear direction: 

The natural use of the brain. 

And as my study took me even further into the areas of neuroscience (the science of the brain), psychology it described perfectly what had happened to me and what was happening with other people I was coaching. 

Finally, everything seemed to fit and make sense.

And the other fascinating thing that I discovered was:

All of the teachings in the various areas that I had studied, such as religion, self help, spirituality and human behaviour - they actually did have the answers on how to use our brains the right way as well!

But I, along with most other people, had simply been interpreting the teachings in the wrong way. 

In fact, even many of the teachers had been interpreting them in the wrong way.

So that’s been my journey on how I got to be here and sharing this with you. 

Next, we’re going to get deep into exactly how the human brain works, so that you will see very clearly why you are getting what you are getting in your life, both the good and the bad. 

And even better, you’re going to be able to see how to start using it differently - the way it’s designed to be used - so you start getting more of what you really want and less of what you don’t want start showing up in your life.

But for now, if you can, let’s just take a few moments to reflect on just how lucky you are to be here. 

Most people have no idea about the true power of their brain. 

You’re one of the few that is beginning to realise that you have the universe’s most powerful computer at your disposal. 

And just as it already gives you everything that you experience in your life, you have the ability - if you use it correctly - to direct it to create a life that you love, rather than a life that you feel you’re fighting against, with problems, stress and unhappiness. 

In fact, as you’ll know by now, problems, stress and unhappiness are not what you’re designed to experience at all. 

Problems, stress and unhappiness and confusion about your life don’t contribute in any way to your biological purpose for being here as a human being. 

They don’t do you any good on any level, so they can’t be natural. 

And if you believe in a creator, then you would agree that problems and stress are not what any loving creator would want for you either.

So as you bring your attention to the present moment, as you let any distractions in your outside world, or particularly in your thoughts - as you just let all of those fall away…

Realise that you do have the power to take control - real control - of your life, and that that power is inside of you right now.

You don’t need to spend years or decades like I did trying to find something from somewhere or someone else. 

You don’t need to learn how to be better. 

You’re already perfect. 

You already have all the power you need, the power of around 500 trillion computer processors give or take a few - and it’s all inside you. 

Inside your marvellous brain. 

All it is simply a question of accepting the truth - which comes from understanding. 

And helping you to understand who you really are is the whole purpose of me being here right now.

Have a think about that from time to time throughout your day. 

Every now and then, when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed by problems, or even just frustrated or disillusioned and you don’t know why, just remember all the answers to what you’re looking for are here right now

They’re available to you right now

And you don’t need to look for them, you just need to use your brain the right way. 

And when you do, you realise that the answers you’ve been seeking all along have been seeking you all along. 

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